Meaningless Life, do I still carry on?

What is this? Maybe I'm thinking too much. It's not like this I hope so. I'm really scared, scare of people who is a facade.

Maple, Maple and Maple.

Yesterday's work was terrible. I dont even know what to say. Starting was fine, but towards closing I was nearly screwed upside down. As usual I was in charge of closing deck as after 10.30 only left me, mar and crystal and they both went home at 11. So I was left with one man show. Was busy with the tentage all those and came back to deck found out that its already 10.55 and they are leaving at 11 how am I suppose to handle all by myself. So I asked mar to help me last order and also to help me bill after last order as I'm really busy with another table. In the end she told me last order le and I said ok help me print and send bill and I would be right back to help. I saw her printing the bill as I left so when I came back, I thought every table had billed. So I shift the customers out. Then in the end Cindy told me that there were 3 table from the deck haven bill yet and I was like wtf, damn shock. As the total bill accounts for about $300+. Of course I get some scolding from Cindy, Jalex too. Felt a bit guilty to him. Long story short, Mar didnt bill all the customer and after last order she just left with crystal. When I came back i thought all bill le. Haiz dont know what to say. I know its my fault too, but I thought, yes its the I thought that nearly screwed me up. Lucky none of the customers left if not GG.

Anyway, power luh chiong maple untill 5am and woke up at 10.30am to go to school, of course i was late for the lesson but I'm still so happy during the lesson as we get back our results and i got 30.5/40 B+ =)

Hectic Life

These few days passed with standard routine. Wake up eat, use laptop, work. Well my mother came back from malaysia already. Good thing is that I dont have to settle my own meals myself, but the bad thing is she will nag here nag there again, no more peaceful life. Another thing is that I'm back to maple again...... Never did I expect that. Disappointment just never fail to make my day. Well I have to find one bassist again, and this time before 31 july. Went to the lesson yesterday and David told us that he want us to play on the 31st of july so as to give us a feel and experience. Okay we are all not ready or prepare for it now, guess it will be another thing that will give me some pressure. Are we ready to play on stage? or Am I ready?

Seng ah!

Back home from work and the drinking session with ah kon, jeremiah, xiang long, ah yang, jennifier and boss. Was really supper fun and I enjoy it a lot. Joking around, talking about cai cai and speaking of which, was really damn sad that today got 2 new cai came to interview and was accepted but in the end called and say that their parents dont allow them to work lol. All was like so looking forward to them luh especially xiang long lol. Okay I'm still a bit seh now. Oh ya and somebody bought away Louis XIII today from bliss, like a bit dont bear it sia. Afterall its like our special wine or signature liquor sia.

Ok shall stop blogging now cause I'm too seh already lol. Shall look forward to tomorrow like finally to play basketball with xiang long somemore sia.

The more you know, the more you dont wish to know.

Why is that it is getting more and more complicated? I really wished that its not that truth, it's just that I'm thinking too much. It is like the truth is not the only truth, the picture or the story didnt just end there. I've thought that I have get over it and I wont look back into it. Why am I becoming how I'm like in the past? Fuck all these shits. Please brainwashed me.


Only music will not betray me and my feelings. Only my guitar can express and tell how I feel.

I hate LOVE this word

Yesterday was damn disappointing. Everything that I look forward to was all gone. Wake up, went to school to do project, all was like super serious I like and of course the work was very productive too. Decided to eat after the project alone, walk to the coffee shop opposite TP and found out that my wallet was not with me. Then I walk back to school to check if I've dropped it there. Went back to school then found out I never bring wallet...... After that reached home and i went to sleep, waking up at 4.30pm to prepare for my guitar lesson then I saw the sms telling me that the lesson was cancelled. I was like wtf, continue stoning at home till 9pm and I went down for work. Reached there and they told me that there are very few customers, unlike the usual friday...... Haiz really lazy to elaborate le.


Fuck, I really hate the situation I am in now. I'm such a coward, loser. How long does this gonna take to end. Also I'm facing that fucker already, stop acting lar seriously did you take a look in the mirror not, you just suck all the way from your head, face to the toes

Qiu Cheng

Lol luckily that work today was still manageable. Outdoor got me and xiang long to settle all things. Total service only got 11 staff? Still can have 4 people MIA so irresponsible tsk. Hmm dont know if i'm feeling satisfied or guilty as i sort of spilled the erdinger dark at jennifier today when she was at the counter lol. Spilled at her as in the erdinger topple over as i accidentally knock it over. Then the erdinger just now swee swee spilled infront of her LOL. Of course the erdinger explode and the i spoiled the calculator.

Anyway went to SAFRA tampines in the morning with my class mates to play pool like again, overall was so so only didnt enjoy much. Went mind cafe after that, which i was reluctant at first cause I'm not eating and I need to pay $5 to go in and play games with free flow of drinks only. In the end went in and play psp and iphone lol. The rest played bang! but i felt that psp and angry bird are more fun lol. Went home earlier with a few caused of work. Reached home damn tired, fall asleep fast and lucky xiang long called me if not i would be in deep trouble. But nonetheless, i was still late for work hmm as in swee swee 7 punched in and the first thing Jennifier do was cancel break.....

You. Die Please.

Work today was fucking busy, too little staff and theres fucking lots of customer. Even when punched in at 6, theres quite a number of customers already. Run here run there all the way to 9.30pm. Was fucking angry and pissed off for some reason. I really really had enough. Enough of all your fucking crap, even I have to pretend to be what I definitely dont want to be and it made me so guilty of trying to act too. I dont understand how can you do it without feeling ashamed or anything else. I respect you for this. Stop all this crap please it fucking makes me want to puke. I dont understand. You're all fine hypocrites

Self Reflecting Post

Wei Jian, stop giving so many excuses, it will only make you weaker. Excuses will not help you to get anywhere. Stop being a loser and whine so much. Yesterday's match was a disastrous, lost about 5 goals. Why have you become so weak, ball flying towards you and you can actually missed it, letting people past like free. What are you good at really? Friday's guitar lesson also, keep on playing wrong notes, what the hell do you want actually. People will get better if they keep practice but it seems that you are getting worst and worst. Haiz be truthful to yourself, stop giving so many excuses, dare to face the mistakes and stop being a coward.

Ice Romancer

Which will one's existence be?
Where did one hoped to live?
I am wounded of a sorrow rather that a wound.
This invisible sorrow is painful.
Am I tumbling down in the pain?
I do nothing but cry... I want to still love you.
Under this mask, I tremble in a weakness of lamentation.
Whom do I seek? Who do I hate? For whom do I live?
I do not hesitate more.
Take along my sad blood.
Destroy my frightened face.

The pain leaves behind a deep scar

The single promised cloud rained incessantly before my eyes,
My feelings are still following you
and even this love will become pouring rain,
pouring down hard and long.
Time was quietly drenched,
Gazing at the isolated sky, my eyelids were overflowing,
Yearning for the unfulfilled feelings at my side even now,
It’s not the end yet.