Masquerade

Life is harsh, it really make us think that what exactly have we done to received such things or maybe you can say that this is the way of life. Facade of reality, who to believe who to trust, i cannot tell. Maybe you can say that i'm naive or too innocent to believe that everyone who treats you good are your true friends or they are trust able. But once again, i have been proven wrong.

What that is worst is that they are once your true pals whom you think you can trust and depend on them the most. I really got nothing to say, all i can do is to let the memories flow away along with time and tears. Maybe by the time I may have been numb already.

Friends, friends, friends. What is the meaning of friend, what is a friend do i still have one? Yea i'm starting to doubt myself now. Guess i should have learn the lesson earlier eh? So that I wouldnt have been hurt so much when i'm wearing a mask too

虚伪 已经玷污城市每个角落

真相 我已不敢再去追求到底

Cause I just dont believe

Every word that you have said

告诉我这一却都不是真的

应为现实跟梦的场景实在差的太多

没有理由你所说的跟我看的不一样

到底我该相信自己还是你所说的话

Oh tell me what to do

Who should i believe

Everything is just a lie

You said you love me

but you dont mean it

Everything is just a deception

颠倒是非是你的专长

把我骗得团团转

Please dont hurt me

Cause i cant take it anymore

Written by me today and was finished just now. Please give me comments if you happen to see this, i will really appreciate it but dont flame me please, i total took 1 hour only to wrote this, so this is the first draft and i will improvise it next time if i find any part that is strange.

Last day for Year 2

Today is the last day for year 2 in poly and i'm gonna go school for one paper. Times fly, i truly agree on that.

I'm drowning in my own thoughts and emotions, today was a perfect sunday. Not sure why I'm feeling like this now. Restless + lethargic wanting to be alone but dont want to waste this perfect weather on a sunday somemore. Help i'm getting lost again, I need someone to wake me up and tell me exactly what I want and need.

Boy: I think I've left something behind in your house

Girl: What is it?

Boy: My Heart.

Girl:...

Boy: Would you help me to keep it first?

Girl: But you wouldnt live without your heart!

Boy: It is just like I cant live without you.

A random scene that played past in my head, really random and original thought, but would the play happen in real life?

Meaningless, this is so meaningless. Everything is not going smoothly huh, naise. Lets see how long i can last, or can i survive through? Gotta forced myself to study again. Hate the feeling of owing a lot of work/assignments undone, test not studied, the stress and pressure kills. Two more fucking weeks man, come on, pull it through.

Anyway, survived through the trip back to M'sia. Yea, i know what i'll be saying here is a bit bad, i'm not against or being unfilial just that, haiz. Lazy to explain myself. The heat and sun is torturing, the bed too, the mattress is so thin that i practically lie on the metal itself, and it hurts my back till i cant sleep, for your info the bed is not ik one plank of wood supporting the mattress, but those kind that is the few sticks of metal pole yea. Didnt get 2 good sleep, my nose is being a bitch, cough too, tv screen is smaller than laptop, war with mosquito even when sleeping. What else to say, this is enough already.

I've got really a lot of things/rants/personal stuff/feelings that was kept inside of me, and i think that i'm going to explode or go crazy soon. I wanted to vent it all out but guess nobody will want to be my venting or ranting victim and i'll dont want to make them feel bored or anything. Haix, how ironic eh?

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

Happy Chinese New Year!!!...... yea happy, yea right, as if i could. Again my long lost feeling is back again not bad, at least around 31 days didnt get emo already. But it is back now, stronger this time. Chinese New year.....yea so what?

Keep regretting things that i have done, i did not do or wanted to do but unable. This sucks till the max. Why, why and why, i keep asking myself that question. Why i do it, why didnt i do it. FML fuckmyself. For the first time in my life, never did i felt this helpless before. It's like everything is in a mess, for a moment, the though of ending my life came into my mind, yes that is how helpless i felt i was in. Its like only ending my life would stop this mess. I know that by ending my life, it would not solved the problem, but what i felt was that i could stop adding on to the mess up stuff.

I'm tired of everything okay, like seriously. I need a break i need a holiday soon to do what i want. Cause currently now, i'm doing all the things that i hate and reluctant to do it.