Happy Chinese New Year!!!

Happy Chinese New Year!!!...... yea happy, yea right, as if i could. Again my long lost feeling is back again not bad, at least around 31 days didnt get emo already. But it is back now, stronger this time. Chinese New year.....yea so what?

Keep regretting things that i have done, i did not do or wanted to do but unable. This sucks till the max. Why, why and why, i keep asking myself that question. Why i do it, why didnt i do it. FML fuckmyself. For the first time in my life, never did i felt this helpless before. It's like everything is in a mess, for a moment, the though of ending my life came into my mind, yes that is how helpless i felt i was in. Its like only ending my life would stop this mess. I know that by ending my life, it would not solved the problem, but what i felt was that i could stop adding on to the mess up stuff.

I'm tired of everything okay, like seriously. I need a break i need a holiday soon to do what i want. Cause currently now, i'm doing all the things that i hate and reluctant to do it.